Start a Conversation about…Cyberbullying

There is a lurking menace affecting teens today. It has only come into being in the last several years but has rapidly done a great deal of damage. The perils of falling prey to it include fear, anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, and even suicide. Unfortunately, though, this danger exists within the homes and even the very hands of young people, and the perpetrators often hide behind anonymity, making them more difficult to identify or punish.

We’re talking about cyberbullying, and it’s a problem that threatens anyone using technological communication, especially young people. Cyberbullying is defined as “the use of technology to harass, intimidate, embarrass, or target another person.” It is further described as “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” This includes online threats, unwanted sexual advances, and aggressive or rude texts, tweets, posts, or messages. Nearly half of adolescents today report having been bullied online, with the most common forms being name-calling, spreading false rumors, or posting unwanted images. Older teenage girls are the most likely victims to experience cyberbullying. Consequences of dealing with it, especially if cyberbullying goes unreported, include a host of mental health issues, along with fear of going to school or social events. Since technology is so pervasive, it can be difficult to control and tough to avoid interacting with cyberbullies.

It is important to discuss cyberbullying with our youth, and to coach them in the best methods to deal with it. We want to remind teens of their identity in Christ and value in God’s eyes. We ought to teach them resilience and mental fortitude against bullies. But we also need to equip them with practical tools to stop and prevent the bullying and remind them not to become aggressors themselves. We can encourage young people to report cyberbullying, collect evidence of it when it happens, and “walk away” when possible.

It’s important to engage parents in the conversation, as well. Teens might be more willing to speak with a youth leader than a teacher or parent, but it takes multiple adults working together to protect and support our youth. As leaders, we can learn as much as possible in order to address and combat the damage of cyberbullying.

Potential Activities

  • Work with students to role play situations that they might encounter online. Invite them to brainstorm solutions to cyberbullying problems and consider how they would respond if they or someone they knew was being bullied.
  • Find an adult who knows a little about cyber security and invite them in as a guest speaker to have a conversation with students. If you don’t know someone, often local police departments have trained officers to talk about internet safety. Talk about what to do with bullies as well as how to avoid other compromising situations online.
  • Host a workshop for parents (with or without teens) to discuss how to handle cyberbullying with teens. This is a new threat that many parents likely did not experience in adolescence and would benefit from specific information. Encourage them to engage in ongoing conversations about what is happening online in a way that both encourages teens to feel comfortable sharing and that points them to their Baptismal identity.
  • Learn more about cyberbullying alongside other youth ministry and congregational leadership (if not already familiar) to be able to address it with teens. Provide students with ways to report cyberbullying and remind them that it’s important to do so. Have a plan to address any occurrences between teens in your ministry. Cyberbullying is a crime and does not have to simply be tolerated.

Discussion Questions

  • What does God’s Word say about how we are to speak to one another?
  • Why is it important to guard what you do online?
  • What are the best ways to monitor internet activity? How do you hold yourself accountable as a Christian online?
  • How can we avoid being misinterpreted in things that we post on social media?
  • What are potential consequences to cyberbullying that we might not see?
  • What does the 8th commandment share with us about how we are to care for others with our words?
  • What should you do if someone you care about is being bullied and doesn’t want to tell anyone about it?
  • What should you do if you know someone who is bullying others online?
  • How can we reflect Christ in words and actions, both online and in person?

Foundational Scriptural Truth

Philippians 4:4-9
It is important to fill our minds with worthwhile and uplifting things. Worrying about things that happen on the internet or spending too much time in the virtual world can distract us from dwelling on God’s love and power in our lives.

Ephesians 4:1-7, 25-32
In any sort of interaction we have with others, it’s important to consider the kinds of words we use and the way that we speak with one another. We should treat others with kindness and live in unity as the body of Christ.

Matthew 7:1-5
Don’t be the bully! Whether online or in person, we can fall into habits of criticism, but it is not our place to judge others or act like authorities in their lives. We all fall short, and should be careful about what we are posting on social media, as well as what we’re taking in.

Proverbs 29:9-11
The wise refrain from outbursts and recognize the faults of those who are against them. Cyberbullies can be cruel and hurtful, but it’s not worth it to engage or try to fight back.

Psalm 139:13-16
We are loved and treasured by our creator, who has made us with purpose and precious design.

James 3:3-12
The dangers of the tongue could also be attributed to text and online commenting. What we say (out loud or virtually) should be carefully considered and guarded before being posted or presented for all to see. Words can be harmful whether they are spoken or printed.

Other Resources

About the author

Kristin is a servant of Christ who is blessed to currently be serving as DCE at Epiphany Lutheran Church in Castle Rock, CO. Originally a California native, Kristin has a masters in teaching from Biola University, as well as a masters in theology and DCE certificate from Concordia Irvine. She spent several years in Georgia, where part of her heart still lives with her two adorable nephews. Kristin held a variety of jobs including Disneyland cast member, public school teacher, and waitress, before recognizing God’s call to full-time ministry. In addition to enjoying this dream vocation, she also loves running, baking, music, history, and strong coffee.
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