Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated. So also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, “Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost.”
John 6:11
I’ve never been competitive. In middle school I was overweight. I only managed a C in PE. As an adult, I learned to love lifting, running, swimming and cycling. I enjoy working out so much now that it became a part of who I am.
Then I contracted a disease that leads to PEM: post-exertional malaise. “Malaise” sounds like “lazy,” but what it means is that over-exertion can send me into an exhaustion that a good night’s sleep can’t fix. For me, PEM looks like watching my heartrate to make sure it doesn’t top 120. It means changing my “goals” from an 18-mile ride to 20 minutes on the stationary bike. It means “bumping up” my mileage once every three months instead of after three successful runs. It means water walking instead of swimming.
In understanding this new diagnosis, I realized I had made “fitness” an unhealthy part of my identity. And not just fitness. I was a workaholic who went from straight A student (outside PE) to an employee on the edge of burnout because I worked too many hours, trying to achieve whatever “good enough” looks like and earn my place. The way I got my head out of that was working out: pheromones in Vitamin D, the peaceful smell of chlorine, focusing on what I would do next to work out instead of letting my mind run to the stresses of the day.
It all became part of who I am. When that illness stole that part of my identity, it felt like it stole my joy. It wasn’t enough for me to be God’s daughter.
What about you? When you describe yourself, what is the first thing you say? Do you fear injury or illness and what it could take away?
Let me assure you: injury or illness may change your capability, but there is so much it cannot steal. With or without your athletic ability, you are enough.
You are not ____________ (fill in the blank here: athlete, track star, first string, A team.) You are God’s child. Because of your gift of faith, you are God’s dearly beloved son or daughter, about whom He says, “I am well pleased.” God takes pleasure in you. He doesn’t just love to watch you play: God loves to watch you BE. He desires to spend time with you, all of you: to listen to your prayers because He loves to be in relationship with you. He desires that you abide in Him.
In fact, the Father sent Jesus to earth to live and die for you so that you can be reunited with your Maker. You are no longer separated by sin, but reconciled to God on the day you were baptized, now, and into eternity.
If God can take two loaves of bread and five fish and make it enough for five thousand people, Jesus can make you enough. In fact, every Gospel account actually tells of two times Jesus miraculously fed crowds, a little lunch became more than enough. Jesus can take your “not enough” and make it more than enough. Jesus makes you enough, and you are more than enough in Him.
Questions
- What elements of your life might be an unhealthy part of your identity and why?
- How can we be reminded that we are enough in Jesus Christ?
Prayer
Jesus, you made a little boy’s lunch enough. You call me “enough,” and make me “enough.” Help me to believe it. Also, do protect me in all I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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