Skit: The Truth

Teacher: Here are your general knowledge tests from last week. Overall, you did quite well. Some of you, however, will find your grades a little disappointing. (Say as handing test to student 1).

(Student 1 looks over test- shocked)

S2: (leans over to Student 1) So, how’d you do?

S1: Uh… okay. You?

S2: 98%! It was pretty easy though, probably the easiest test we’ll have all year. How about you? (To student 3)

S3: 100%- could have done it with my eyes closed. What did you say you got? (To student 1)

S1: Well, let’s just say I could have done better.

S2: (laughs) I know what that means…you stunk it up!

S3: Come on, how bad could it be? I mean this is like, “are you smarter than a 2nd grader” type of stuff.

S1: Yeah, well, maybe some of these questions have more than one answer. Maybe you need to open your minds a little. I just need to talk to Mrs. Baker.

S2: Well, good luck with that!

S3: No kidding, she never changes grades and these questions are pretty straightforward. Seriously though, what’d you get?

S2: Yeah, you can tell us.

S1: Fine. I got a 43.

S2: 43!

S3: Did you actually do it with your eyes closed?

S1: No. I just have my own perspective on things.

S2: Well, hopefully you and your perspective are okay with not having your phone because you know your parents are going to take it.

S3: Yeah and I guess we won’t count on seeing you anytime this weekend.

S2: Or maybe the rest of the month!

S1: I just need to explain it to them. It’ll be fine.

S2: Well, let us know how it goes.

S3: Yeah, call us later…if you can.

(S2 and S3 exit- S1 approaches teacher at desk)

S1: Uh, Mrs. Baker, can I ask you some questions about the test?

Teacher: Of course. You know, I was a little surprised at your score. You could have done a lot better.

S1: Well, actually, I think I did do a lot better.

Teacher: Really, how so?

S1: Well, take this question for example: How many continents are there?

Teacher: Right, you said six and there are actually seven.

S1: You may believe that there are seven; but I don’t think Antarctica actually counts.

Teacher: It doesn’t count?

S1: Right, I mean no one lives there. It’s not doing anything for the rest of us. It’s just sitting there, being cold. So, really, there are only six. That’s the truth as I see it.

Teacher: Well, that’s an interesting thought; but the truth is, there are seven.

S1: Well, what about this one? (Pointing to a problem on the test)

Teacher: (reading) Who is credited with inventing the telephone? You put Benjamin Franklin.

S1: And…

Teacher: And…the answer is Alexander Graham Bell.

S1: Let’s not rush to judgment.

Teacher: Excuse me?

S1: Well, Benjamin Franklin was also an inventor who, I believe, lived around the same time period. It is possible that he helped Bell invent the telephone.

Teacher: Actually, it’s not possible. Franklin died before Bell was even born.

S1: But maybe he could have discovered some of Franklin’s diaries where he had started working on a telephone and then just took those ideas a little further and…

Teacher: Sorry, that’s just not true.

S1: I think that’s a very narrow-minded view of things.

Teacher: Well, I’m okay with being narrow-minded about the truth.

S1: Okay, one more. I know you’ll see things from my perspective on this one.

Teacher: I wouldn’t be so sure.

S1: Here, in the math section (pointing to test) Any number times zero will always equal what?

Teacher: Yes, that’s the question. And your answer is, “Whatever is best for it to equal at that time.”

S1: Exactly. To say it “always” equals something is very limiting. I mean, I like to believe numbers can equal whatever is best for everyone involved.

Teacher: Well, you can believe that all you want; but it doesn’t make it true.

S1: It may not be true for you; but it’s true for me. I mean, I believe it with my whole heart.

Teacher: Sorry, truth is truth regardless of what you believe about it. Any number times zero will always equal zero. That’s true for all of us, no matter how you or the numbers feel about it.

S1: Look, all I’m saying it perhaps you misinterpreted my answers; and therefore, gave me the wrong grade.

Teacher: You got a 43% on this test and you’re going to have to do some make-up work and that, my friend, is the truth.

(S1 takes the test and exits)