by Herman Glaess

Download a PDF of the Retreat: Heart to Heart.

Use this Bible study at a retreat or as a youth event to talk about self-esteem and the importance of building each other up.


That participants will:

  • Explore the effects of “put-downs” on self-esteem.
  • Experience the effects of compliments and positive bombardment
  • Explore some reasons for putting down others.
  • Learn how to let the Gospel lead us to respond positively to someone who has hurt us.


Who am I? How do I fit? What do I want in life? Whom do I need? Who needs me?

No one ever answers these questions to complete satisfaction, but “The Self” continues to ask.

Each person has specific strong needs during the day-to-day existence. We have a need to be needed and specific needs to be met. Each of us demands “Three Big A’s” and also desires to give these same “Three Big A’s” to others.

Christians will better understand the “Three Big A’s” because our Lord has provided loving and living examples of how to share them with others.

Three Big A’s


Persons of all ages constantly strive for attention. The striving takes on different forms. Personality differences along with such things as dress, speech, activities and vocations are part of this search for attention. Crying, temper tantrums, smiling and laughing help assist a person receive needed attention. Some individuals seem to want more than others and the endeavors of some persons searching for this necessary attention might be difficult to accept.


Along with attention, each person wants and needs to feel accepted by others who are special to them. There is a lasting desire and search for a rich type of acceptance similar to that which God has shown us in our Savior, Jesus Christ. Most persons want to improve themselves so that they will be accepted by significant others—but even as they strive to improve, people search for the type of acceptance that says, “I like you just the way you are.


This feeling includes attention and acceptance, but is generally deeper, richer and more satisfying. It is a feeling that indicates that not only do you accept me as a person, but you deeply appreciate me because your life is better since I am a part of it. We desire to feel this appreciation especially from persons with whom we have meaningful relationships.

All of us can identify specific experiences where we have received positive attention, genuine acceptance and sincere appreciation. When someone shows us such memorable attention, acceptance or appreciation we grow in our personhood and the person and event connected with our growth becomes significant and memorable.