Skit: What’s It Worth to You?

A game show setting shows just how crazy it is to place too much value in worldly things. Check it out!

You can download a PDF version of What’s it Worth to You?. If you use it, let us know in the comments!

Themes: Value of Scripture, Meaning of Life, In the World

Narrator: (voice over) You are about to enter a place, a place not far from where you live, where life is about getting, and honor is seen as the size of your wallet. Watch the characters interact and learn. Welcome to the Chapel Zone.

(Slide #1)

Walter: Audience, are you ready for the craziest game show on TV, where every day contestants could walk away with thousands in fabulous prizes or with absolutely nothing? With me, your faithful announcer, Walter Volume, andyour smiling host, Joe Smiley, it’s time to ask yourself, “What’s it worth to you?”

APPLAUSE

Smiley: (Continually smiling) Hello and welcome to our studio audience and to all of you watching at home. I’m JoeSmiley. (Flashes really cheesy smile) We are here today to see if our contestants will walk away with prizes beyond belief or walk away with absolutely nothing. They could leave in resounding praise or in complete shame, as hopeless losers. Here are our two contestants. (Contestants are escorted in by models) Are you ready to play?(Contestants are excited)

APPLAUSE

Here’s how the game is played: Contestants will be shown a variety of amazing prizes and each will tell us what they will give in order to obtain the item. The contestant who gives the greatest value to the item will take it home. Are you ready to begin? (Contestants nod)

APPLAUSE

Walter, please tell us about item #1.

Walter: Certainly, Joe. Our first item is a BRAND NEW CAR (Slide #2), a 2005 Dodge Viper in cherry red completewith a special jet-propulsion engine that allows for a top speed of over 350 miles per hour. How can the cops catch you if they can’t see you? It is also equipped with platinum rims that oscillate in a clockwise or counterclockwise direction, a stereo including a 100-disc CD changer and three15-inch subs, a 42-inch plasma TV in the back seat, and On-Star.

APPLAUSE

Smiley: A truly amazing prize. Contestant #1, what’s it worth to you?

Contestant #1: (Beside himself with excitement) I can’t believe it. This car is my dream. Everyone will be watching me as I drive. (Pretends to drive) Look at me in my awesome car. I will give $40,000 and my first-born child for thisamazing piece of machinery.

Smiley: $40,000 and worth every penny. And your fi rst-born child, what a priceless gift. That’s a big bid to top,Contestant #2. What’s it worth to you?

Contestant #2: Well, I just don’t think such a fast car is very safe and I wouldn’t want to endanger the lives of others. Also that jet-propulsion engine can’t be good for the environment, so I am bidding $0 on this item.

Smiley: Don’t you think this car is cool? It’s a beast of a car.

Contestant #2: Yes, I agree.

Smiley: But it’s not worth anything to you because it’s not safe?

Contestant #2: Right. I wouldn’t want to harm others.

Smiley: So you are putting the safety of others above your own happiness and popularity? That’s crazy! (Everyone but Contestant #2 laughs)

LAUGHTER

Contestant #1, the car is yours. Walter, the next item, please.

Walter: Item #2 for your bidding pleasure is a must-have for every truly fulfilled and important individual. Located 100 miles north of the equator, it’s your own private island. (Slide #3) Perfect for quick weekend getaways, it comescomplete with a landing strip and Lear jet, a 35,000 sq.-ft. 24-room bungalow with indoor pool and sauna, and 16 horses. Your dream of a tropical island paradise comes true. Say “Aloha” to your dull life in the city and “Aloha” to your new life in the sun.

APPLAUSE

Smiley: (laughing) Thank you, Walter. That last phrase was clever since “aloha” means hello and goodbye. Veryingenious of you, Walter.

Walter: Thank you, Joe.

Smiley: Well, Contestant #2, it’s your turn to bid first. Hopefully, this prize is worth more to you than the last one. Maybe you can still walk out of here as something other than a loser, but I think it is doubtful. What’s it worth to you?

Contestant #2: Owning your own private island would be wonderful. But I have a question, does it have a church?

Smiley: A church? Who cares if it has a church? It’s your own island.

Contestant #2: Since I work, I could only go there on weekends. On Sundays, I go to church. So if there is no church, it’s not worth much to me, maybe $5,000. (Everyone but Contestant #2 laughs)

LAUGHTER

Contestant #1: For an island? You’ve got to be kidding me. Just cause there’s not a church? I bid $1 million and my next two children and what would have been their college funds.

Smiley: Well, Contestant #1, it appears that the island is worth much more to you, somewhere in the area of $1.2million. So Item #2 goes to you. Congratulations and when can I come down for a fiesta? (Laughs at himself)

APPLAUSE

Contestant #1, you have taken a commanding lead. And Contestant #2, you could have a chance, if you hadpriorities like a normal person, but you don’t. You are a complete and total loser. On to item #3. Walter?

Walter: The next item up for bid is a unique, beautiful, and astounding article. She cooks, she cleans, she does laundry, all while looking her best so you have something to admire. She does what you ask and will look great on your arm at parties, to impress and cause envy in all of your friends and coworkers. It’s our lovely model, Sheena(Slide #4).

Sheena: (Crossing to Smiley) Hey. You can’t sell me.

Smiley: You should have read your contract more closely, dear. Now, smile pretty for the camera. Contestant #1, what’s she worth to you?

Contestant #1: She’s quite a specimen. She can be my island and work party wife. My first wife can stay home and clean. My wife’s just not the looker she once was. Sheena will give me some prestige. I bid $50,000 and the first twochildren Sheena and I have. (Sheena looks dismayed for a minute, then smiles when Smiley grabs her arm)

Smiley: A generous offer. Let’s see if Contestant #2 can top that offer.

Contestant #2: Why would I want another wife? I have a wife I love; she’s there in the audience. (Waves to her) Hi, honey. I have no desire to bid on this woman, except to keep her from this man whose already given away their children. So I bid $60, 000 dollars.

Smiley: Any children?

Contestant #2: (Disgusted) No.

Smiley: Well, then I am afraid that Contestant #1 has won Sheena also.

APPLAUSE

Sheena, please go stand with your new man. (Sheena stands next to Contestant #1 and reluctantly takes his arm)We have one more item remaining. Perhaps, you can win this one, Contestant #2, and not leave in complete humiliation. Walter, tell us about Item #4.

Walter: Certainly, Joe (Slide #5). Our last item for today is interesting. It has tremendous worth, but is one of the most readily available items today, coming in many forms and translations. It is an antique book, used, with somepassages marked. Covered in pure sheepskin leather, it is a copy of the Bible.

Smiley: Thank you, Walter. Contestant #2, it’s really your turn to bid first, but since you are such a loser and have nochance of winning this game, I am going to let Contestant #1 bid first. So Contestant #1, what’s it worth to you?

Contestant #1: Thank you, Mr. Smiley. I am not sure what to bid on this item. It’s an antique. That’s worth something to some people, but to me, it just means worn and used. I’d much rather have a brand new Bible, one in mint condition, and I’d keep it that way. Also I don’t know if I’d have much time to read it anyway, with my new car and island. So, for its antique value, I bid $500.

Smiley: That’s a lot of value for a book. Good luck with that bid. Now, Contestant #2, I don’t think it’s even worth mytime to ask, but here it goes. What’s it worth to you?

Smiley: (Interrupting) It’s mine, okay? You don’t understand what bankruptcy is like … I had to because it’s got someworth and it was just sitting on my shelf and the lion needs to be fed (Gaining composure) I’m sorry, that was very unprofessional of me. Please continue, Contestant #2.

Contestant #2: Well, this is a very important item to me, for its content, but I already have one, and its got my notes and markings in it, so I don’t really want another. For this one, well, I’ll bid $100.

Smiley: (Groaning) Well, Contestant #2, you are the loser. You haven’t even bid enough to win a Bible that you claim is important to you. Don’t you want two? Don’t you want two of everything? It’s about getting; it’s about worth. Youare a sad excuse for a consumer. You have my pity. I bid you farewell (Slide #6). Contestant #1, you are today’schampion. You will take home a new car, an island, and a trophy wife. Congratulations and we’ll be coming toarrange payment options.

APPLAUSE

Contestant #1: Payment options?

Smiley: Of course. You didn’t think this was all for free, did you. We’ll collect your first-born next week. Butcongratulations on your victory (Slide #7). And to our audience, see you next time on “What’s it worth to you?”

APPLAUSE

Narrator: (Voice over) You have just seen the story of a place where life is about getting, and honor is seen as the size of your wallet. It’s a place that will rust and decay, where treasure you store up will break and mold. Is this where you live? “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Until we meet again, in the Chapel Zone.

THE END